Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
