how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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