i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
