Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
this hospital has no fireball
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
