I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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