Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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