Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
