I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
