Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
