Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
