Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
im holly from the hills drunk
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
