Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize