there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
