Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize