She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
