I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
