Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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