She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize