You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
