im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
