But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's blow job season.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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