Kiss
Puke
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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