Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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