: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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