i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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