Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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