She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
