I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
