I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
COCAINE IS GR8
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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