four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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