It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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