Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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