Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
