i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
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The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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