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Don't you send me to vm
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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