I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?