Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
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It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
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Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.