You're so nebulous sometimes
do herpes really smell.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
