At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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