In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
