My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
