oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize