Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
FUCK WHALES
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
