Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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