After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
