I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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