last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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