i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
