So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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