Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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