She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize