And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
