hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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