So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
