Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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