I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
