Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
