Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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