Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
