apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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