uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
