Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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