So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
