please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
