I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
