My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
