your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
two words...techno handjob
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
