Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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