I wish I only lived at night.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
